Some of you workaholics may not be aware, but there is an historic convention going on right now. (Did you like my gramatically appropriate use of the article “an” there?) I am referring, of course, to the baby bunnies in tiny sweaters convention.
As you can see the keynote squeaker is trying to rally the warren’s base in the face of tough questions like: How will I afford to send all 153 of my offspring to buniversity? And, what is your plan for addressing bunemployment?
The keynote squeaker hopped around those questions with an awwwwww-inspiring story about his mother rabbit, struggling to feed a family of 24 despite barely being able to reach the produce in the grocery store.
The bunnies also got the crowd wiggling their noses by portraying their opponents, the ducklings, as a group of privileged fuzzballs who only want quacks cuts for the cutest 1% of baby animals on the internet.
If you would like to view further political coverage of this nature, with some poker going on at times, human clerks from both the bunny and duckling sides of the aisle will be convening at [——]. Bring booze and carrots. Please RSVP so I know how many admission passes to print up.