You all need to stop having so many babies, as I can no longer keep track of your prolific reproductivities. Someone asked me yesterday for the name of a fellow patent nerd’s daughter, as if I were the repository of all social information, and I guessed “Caroline.” I was wrong, and the parents of, let’s call her “Josephine” (I got the gender right, albeit built into the question), were none too amused. There are additionally at least four more Fed.Cir. babies that have been born or will be born in the past/next few days. Many of these are second babies, which is just nuts.
In related baby news, Goodman is babysitting this afternoon at the Caggiano house, and has been instructed that his child-caring duties include vacuuming and disinfecting every surface that the baby might touch. This is a mobile baby, so that basically means every inch of surface area in the house must be sterilized. I initially feared, does this bubble-bound baby have some unfortunate sensitivity? Nope. Apparently obsessive cleaning is just what parents do nowadays. I’m pretty sure I ate dirt and cat food as a baby, which would be unacceptable by today’s parenting standards, unless, I suppose the dirt and meow mix was autoclaved first.
Which transitions us into poker, because the house is probably as clean as it has ever been in its 123-year existence, and you should come to poker to witness this. If we start at 8pm, that should give you all enough time to take in the dander-free air and admire all the dust-free surfaces. Even the dog was shaved to improve the baby environment.
And who the hell is Caroline? One of you named your baby Caroline, I totally didn’t just make that up.