It’s a boy! I’m so overjoyed that CNN can finally stop showing me pictures of the British royal baby bump. Isn’t there a war going on somewhere? I don’t really know what important things are happening because the only news spoon-fed to me involves the birth of a child who will never know the taste of Kraft dinner, and the riveting story of a dude sitting an in airport. Breaking update–he’s still sitting there!
What does the royal baby eat? Goose liver pate? Mashed bangers and mashed mash? Even if the royal chef sometime makes him a box of macaroni and cheese, it won’t be done right. By which I mean improvised. People who owe their lives to macaroni and cheese often do not have handy the listed additives. Butter and milk? Like I have other foodstuffs if I’m eating mac and cheese to survive. How about a coffee creamer packet and a spoonful of fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt where I haven’t stirred in the fruit yet? That will work. Orange powder don’t fail me now.
In celebration of the birth of the royal baby, let us harken back to the pokers of old, wherein I used to make kraft mac & cheese for all who were hungry. With butter and milk this time. RSVP and also state your anticipated hunger level. Cards are dealt at 8pm. Water starts boiling at 8:30.