Normally I would use the government shutdown as an opportunity to really get wild with poker email, but I’m pretty sure the NSA agent responsible for monitoring this communication was deemed “essential” and is still on the job. Hey Ron.
Let’s celebrate the government shutdown by driving to poker and parking in a permit zone for free! We can place prank calls to Joe Biden, who is currently manning the Whitehouse switchboard in the absence of any secretaries. He’s so happy that they are letting him talk to people, he probably won’t even mind.
Another perk of government shutdown poker is that we can be sure Dolin will not show up. He is too busy trolling the republican staffer bars trying to pick up binge drinking conservative women. “Hey, baby, I can see you’ve opted out of Obamacare, because you got FINE written all over you. No, I’m not furloughed, the only thing nonessential about me are these pants.”
One caveat, though, is that Goodman has been home all day with nothing to do, and I cannot guarantee that the house will be anything other than a war zone of empty Miller Lite cans and Cheetos residue by 8pm tonight. If that does not deter you from wanting to blow off some frustration for our dysfunctional democracy for as little as $10, please RSVP. Bonus points for including your own shutdown-inspired pickup lines. Who knows, you might get a chance to screw a couple federal employees out of even more cash.