Rainy Vacation Poker

I am writing this email from the Outer Banks North Carolina, where I am riding out the government shutdown on “vacation”.  Now before you start getting all jealous,  understand that it has been torrentially raining since we arrived, and I have not been able to venture out of our rental condo to see the beach a single time.

Instead, my soon-to-be imaginary in-laws and I are honing our skills at being annoyed with each other for no good reason.  Being trapped for a week in a tiny rental condo with internet access for only two devices at a time, and sufficient bandwidth for only one of those devices, and very poor basic cable reception, is like a boot camp for passive-aggressive marital combat.  I think I’m winning.  I do have a nasty cold right now, which admittedly gives me tremendous advantage in several family battle tactics, such as being too frail to do anything that is asked of me, loudly trumpeting my nose during moments of quiet but important movie dialogue, and taking up the three-seater couch all to myself.

We do have a deck of cards, but doing anything with those cards would require a level of personal interaction for which I do not think we are civilly equipped at this time.  Besides, playing cards would just remind me of missing poker back home…

So poker!  For those of you still in DC, I imagine that there is a poker game going on somewhere.  I will have to refer you to [———–] for RSVPs and other details because I won’t be around.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to the kitchenette to clink dishes very loudly and cough on all the silverware.

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