There are a bunch of new people on this list, so let me open by saying welcome to getting an email every Wednesday from a crazy person. The emails tend to be pretty formulaic. I start out by rambling or ranting about some asinine thing that I did or I saw on the news. I then gracefully transition into communicating logistical information about this week’s Federal Circuit Clerk Poker Game, such as where and when the importance of a timely and accurate RSVP. There is often a running mockery of Dolin or Goodman, but I will take it easy on the inside jokes this time.
Ok, here comes the ramble part: I am “working” from home today because I am waiting for the locks to be replaced on my door. I notice last week that the key to my front door bars was missing from the communal set of house keys that we keep in the foyer. I assumed someone was using it or had temporarily misplaced theirs and I replaced the key with a spare. Then yesterday, I noticed that same key was missing from the key ring again. It was there the night before, but now it is gone. All the other keys were still there, just the front door gate key was missing. All of the inhabitants of my house were in the living room at that moment, so I told everyone the disappearing key story and asked for an explanation. No one had one. No one took either key.
Needless to say I was creeped out to the max and need to get the locks changed. But I don’t want to leave the house unsecured in case someone with two stolen copies of the same key intends to intrude and steal my… TV? I don’t know. My house doesn’t really have nice things. So here I sit, armed with a cell phone and a kitchen knife. Guarding my fortress. Learning how fantastically unproductive I can be when I have access to reddit during the workday and when every odd creak and shudder of my circa 1890 house is misinterpreted as the arrival of a maleficent vagrant. I’m pretty sure there is a fire demon that lives in my furnace and plays the drums and is practicing diligently to audition for Chief Rader’s band.
Completely unrelatedly, (that was the graceful transition) poker will be hosted tonight by the very lovely Neal and Jen. They live at [———-] in Columbia Heights, next to [——]. You should arrive at their house at 8pm, armed with at least $10 and a bottle of some adult beverage. If you are new to poker, this would be a great one to get your feet wet as the regulars tend to be better behaved for the classier hosts. You can still RSVP to me.