I have, completely unintentionally, perpetrated a systematic abuse on an innocent stranger.
Last week I was sending a follow-up email (with the dragon password) to people who rsvp’ed to Fairytale Poker, to which (despite being specifically uninvited) Dolin responded. As I started to type “Dolin” into the cc field of the email, the auto-fill function pulled up the address gdolin@[———].com, which displayed with the name “Guthrie Dolin.” I do not know any Guthrie Dolin, so instead selected the entry below that one, for Greg Dolin <greg.dolin@[——–].com>. I was concerned, however, as to why this strange name came up in my auto-fill. I looked over some of the past poker emails, and sure enough, gdolin@[——–].com was there. I must have typed it in by hand once thinking it was Greg Dolin, and then lost track of it being buried in the long list, along with the real Dolin.
Which means that some random dude named Guthrie Dolin has been receiving poker emails for… months? Years? Of course, he has never come to poker; every week I specifically call out, per what now seems like a rather tragically ironic running joke, that Dolin is not invited. And that’s on a mild week. I often say things like Dolin is a douchebag, or don’t ever talk to Dolin, or Dolin lives in a rank-smelling hole under a bridge. All the while, poor Guthrie lives in a bizarrely cruel world in which every week he gets an invitation to a mysterious party, only to be singled out, berated, and uninvited.
Mr. Guthrie Dolin, in the unlikely event that you are still reading these emails despite what appears to be their persistent and inexplicable hostility towards you, I would like to apologize. I don’t know you, and am completely unqualified to call you a douchebag or any of the other mean things I have said. Because you have never replied to a poker email, I don’t know if your feelings have been hurt or if you have been affected by this unfortunate misunderstanding in any way, but I am sorry. I’m sure you are a wonderful person. If you are ever in the Washington DC area, I’ll buy you a drink. You know where I live.
For everyone else, poker tonight will be at [——–]. First hand is dealt at 8pm sharp. $10 buy-in cash game. Bring booze. RSVP.
Greg Dolin is a douche nozzle and is not invited.
Guthrie Dolin actually is also not invited, but that’s because this game is for current and former judicial clerks of the United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit (and their guests), and not because of anything personal. Again, sorry.