Tropical Island Poker

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful sort,
That started from an email thread, within this tiny Court.
The Chief was fan of flattery, his man-crush too adored.
Their bromance sadly cut his rein ʼbout three years short. ʼBout three years short.
The media was getting rough, the tiny Court was tossed.
If not for the courage of new Chief Prost, the Circuit would be lost. The Circuit would be lost.

Now turn to the tale of the poker crew, they’ve played for a long, long time.
They’re trying to improve their game, it’s an uphill climb.
Kristina and the Goodman too, will do their very best, to make the new clerks comfortable, and liquor up the rest.
No limits and no filters, our evil powers are clear: we killed the King of Pop just like we killed RR’s career.
So join us here each week my friends, you’re sure to get a smile, and now stuck in your head all day is the theme from “Gilligan’s Isle.”

[cue song transition music]

If you like Pina Coladas,
And you’re down for a game
If you’re not into poker,
But you’ll play just the same
If you love talking shit on litigants
And nerding out with your friends
Come to my house this evening*
Where the fun never ends**

*[————] – note later start time
**The fun usually ends around midnight.  Then people stumble home at 1.
There will actually be pina coladas.


The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Goodman

In a hole in the ground there lived a Goodman.  Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, but close.  This hole, despite being hobbit-sized, served as the gathering spot for rowdy Federal Circuit clerks on alternate Wednesdays many years ago.  One day the Goodman left his little hole and went on an amazing journey that resulted in him no longer being a poker host in his own right.  Actually, the journey was a rather mundane and obnoxious one for the Shire of Columbia, and involved moving his many hobbit trinkets from hole to hole in a series of rowhouses—each only a block or so from the next—in search of a more fulfilling life.

This more fulfilling life finally found him, unexpectedly, with the acquisition of a ring.  Though quite a small and harmless-seeming thing, this ring had great power.  It compelled him upon an arduous quest to bring the ring to its proper home, and to keep the ring-bearer safe and happy.  That quest was triumphantly concluded mere days ago, when two Goodmans placed all of their hobbit trinkets finally at rest in their brand-spanking’ new condo.

Having completed his quest, the Goodman has retaken his title as a poker host in his own right. He has also retaken his poker table, complete with green felt and cupholders. The Goodmans live at [——–] (upstairs).  Poker will begin at their house at 8pm tonight.  Bring booze.  Bring a snack to share. Join in the housewarming party!*

*I originally had “hole-warming,” but that sounded really creepy.